It is all good and well

To want to be a free spirit

To remain nowhere

To leave everywhere

Without a trace

 

But what they don’t tell you,

The writers

The adventurers

The bohemian tornadoes that blow from city to city

Is that travel comes at a cost

Far greater than that of a passport and plane ticket

 

Travel is also lonely

Everyone you melt into is only temporary

As shortly you must evaporate

And become one with the wind once again

So that you can be in your next destination

 

You hear music that only you can hear

And colours so rich that no camera can seem to comprehend

 

And at the end of it all,

When you have finished making the bed that isn’t yours

And you say goodbye to the final set of white sheets

From the hostel you will never return to

You return

And you would think that would be the end

Of the loneliness

But then people start asking,

 

“How was it?”

“What did you do?”

 

And you are left tongue-tied

With no language to describe the whirlwind that has shifted your life completely

 

“I guess you just had to be there”

Is the only thing that can be untangled from your vocal chords

Amongst the intertwining pleads of vibrancy

And sparks

That demand to be heard

But can’t seem to be liberated from your mind

 

And you are left lonelier than before

What a shame it is

That becoming one

Wasn’t a story written for us

All because you live on the other side of the sea

 

I can feel the waves shatter against the cemented sand

Who is so used to being beaten down

 

And I ask the ocean,

 

“Even if it’s just for a day

Could you perhaps not be so wide

So violent

So unforgiving

So important?”

 

So that maybe

You wouldn’t seem so far after all

Sometimes I wonder

If nature is aware of its functions

 

Does the grass know the cows need it to graze

Do the trees know they’re apartment blocks to thousands of residents

Do the worms know that without them, the nutrients in the soil wouldn’t exist

 

Or are they simply,

Blissfully

Unaware of their own impacts

And live simply because they are alive?

You see

The sand of the desert simply allows the heat to wash over it,

And give it blistering sunburns

And the parrots rhythmically pierce the air with their shrills

And the clouds drink the ocean, and then release it from their grip to shower us with delicious rain

 

Not because these things all demand to be heard

Or to be validated

Nature,

And all it encompasses doesn’t need a name

It doesn’t need us at all

 

But yet

Unapologetically

Without hesitation

Will never fail to flow

Wherever they decide

Simply because it is their small mission,

That the world relies on

 

How I wish I had that poise-

The confidence of nature

It’s not fair

That you had to compete with a synthetic version of yourself

That I created for you

 

All those happy,

Infatuating thoughts,

Were either memories I had to dig for

Or scenarios I made up

That I had to dig even harder for

 

The hardest realization that I had to come to

Is that the boy I loved most

Never existed

At least not anymore

 

Because now you are happy to dive into another stream,

One that’s quicker

Smoother

Clearer

 

Well now my mind is clearer

And it is crystal clear to me

That it’s time to cut ties

 

– to the boy that lived in my imagination

To the boy who couldn’t stick around,

 

The biggest mistake you ever made

Was not leaving me,

 

It was assuming that I would be waiting for you

When you finally realized

Just what you walked away from

 

Yours sincerely,

The truth

You treated me like a balloon

 

First you filled me with your breath,

Inflating my spirit with a false sense of hope

And then you let me go

Just as fast as you blew me up

And my flaccid sense of self starts darting across the room aimlessly

 

Until finally

I am left deflated

Shriveled on the floor

With the remnants of your saliva still fresh on my lips

 

You discarded me,

And told me that there is a party down town with more balloons

 

Bigger balloons

Better balloons

I am the sun

And you are the moon

 

Science tells us that we will never cross paths

However perhaps in some world

There exists an eternal eclipse,

Where we set the world ablaze

 

All I want to know is;

Are you my eclipse?

Or are you just another astronomical occurrence

Will you stay the night?

Or are you only here to star gaze?

 

Cause right now,

All I feel is your gravity

And all I can orbit is you

 

You have the power to turn your life into art